Friday, March 17, 2006

Joke ahoy!

Why are pirates the best?
A: Because they just Arrrr!

Courtesy: Blue-eyed boy

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Why the name: Rang De Basanti

Actually, reporters asked this question to Aamir in a press conference. What he told was pretty interesting. In the crew of the film unit, there was a person called GNAR (Russian Artist). He was a giant of 8'2" in height and 130 kilos of weight. He was the person, who lifted and threw Aamir, in the title song.
The producer of the movie was asked by some pundit to name his film after 11 days of shooting is completed. On 11th day, the crew had a heated discussion on what should be the name. At that time Gnar was not feeling well and was sleeping in his tent. It was suggested that the crew will visit Gnar and whatever be the first word(s) spoken to him be the name of movie.
The crew walked towards GNAR's tent and opened the veil. They saw Gnar twirling and trying to sleep on a 4 feet long bed. Everyone was shocked and in unison shouted "ITNA SA BED GNAR." They had to keep this name of the movie..
But the producer and Director were very upset over the kind of name finalized. They lost all enthusiasm. Then came the advice from the great GNAR. He Said, "Why don't you reverse the title text....

Courtesy: Ankur Relia

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Acronym test

What does DNA stand for?
A: National Dyslexics Association.

Courtesy: Stupid boy

Frosbites and boomerangs

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.

Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him.

What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A bad golfer goes, whack, damn. a bad skydiver goes damn, whack.

Courtesy: Smilin Assassin

Paint my house

Once a blonde was short of cash. She went to a few houses in her neighbourhood looking for a job. In one house, a man told her he was looking for someone to paint his porch, and aked her if she wanted to do it. The blonde accepted the job and asked $50 for it. This was a lot less than what the man had expected to pay for the job. So the deal was struck.
The man went inside his house and told his wife that a blonde had accepted to paint their porch for just $50. After sometime the blonde entered the house and told him that she had finished her work and collected her wages. Just before she left she told the guy, "By the way that was not a porch, that was a lexus."

Lights on

There was a man, Bhagwan K Das in whose house lights never went out, even when power to the entire locality was cut . Why?
A: Coz' Bhagwan K ghar mein der hain Andher nahin.

Courtesy: Anup R

koff koff!

Girl: That was your girlfriend coughing!
Geoff: Umm. Yes.
Girl: But you told me she was dead!!
Geoff: I overreacted.

Courtesy: Nupur Sen

Friday, March 10, 2006

Sounds of silence

Guide: "I welcome you all to Niagara Falls . These are the world's largest waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20 supersonic planes passing by can't be heard. Now may I request the ladies to keep quiet so that we can hear the Niagara Falls?"

Courtesy: Ghetufool

Confessions of a Gujarati

What do you call the diary of a homosexual Gujarati?
A: Memoirs of A Gay Shah

What do you call a Mangalorean arsonist?
A: A Pairomaniac

What do you call a Mangalorean who’s a pain in the ass?
A: Paiiles

What do you call a Mangalorean mathematician?
A: Paithagorus

Courtesy: Vijay Ramachandran

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

The height of Pjs

At a meeting of animals in a jungle, everyone was given a free gutkha packet. Only the giraffe insisted on being given Manickchand. Why?
A: Because Manickchand: Unchey log, unchey pasand.

Courtesy: Pompous ass

Hare raising experience

A man speeding on his Ferrari runs over a hare killing it. Being an animal lover, he tries to bring back the hare to life. He frantically searches the dicky of his car and finds a spray-can there. He sprays the dead animal with it and, miracles of miracles, the hare springs back to life.
It runs along the road, looks back and waves at the man. Then it runs a little again, looks back, and waves at him.
Confused, the man looks at the can. It was written on it: 'Hair spray. Brings life to dead hair. Increases waviness.'

Courtesy: Stupid boy

Mangos and apples

Once a donkey climbed a tree. There was a elephant already sitting on the tree.
Elephant: Why did you climb the tree.
Donkey: To eat apples.
Elephant: But this is a mango tree.
Donkey: I know. That's why I have brought the apples with me.

Courtesy: Smilin Assassin

A letter from no where

Santa: I got an anonymous letter.
Banta: From whom?

Courtesy: Scout

Ears some jokes again

How many ears does Spock have?
A: Four, his left ear, his right ear, his engine ear and his final front ear!

A piece of string walks into a bar and asks the barman for a drink. The barman points to a sign behind the bar and says, "Sorry, we don't serve pieces of string, didn't you see the sign?" The piece of string replies"I'm afraid knot."

A crab goes into a restaurant and asks for a baked potato with beans and cheese. The waiter replies, "Sorry sir, we don't serve seafood."

Courtesy: Blue-eyed boy

Sorry for the break!

I apologise to the millions of people who visit this blog for the break in posting new jokes. I was on vacation. I assure you the jokes will henceforth be regular.