DJ Tridib Remix

(with apologies to Himesh Reshammiya)

A sick man aaya
A sick man aaya
Pune!!!

Terrible sookhi sookhi hai bahein
Terrible bloodshot woh nigahein
Terrible uska bad-ass aadaye
Terrible!
Terrible lyrics yeh banaya
Terrible blog me charhaya
Kitna samay gawaya
Terrible!

Courtesy: Tridib

Satisfaction or your money back!

Sardar buys a lottery ticket for Rs 20 and wins ten crore. The dealer gives him Rs 7 crore after deducting tax. The angry sardar shouts at him: "Give me ten crore, otherwise give me my Rs 20 back".

Courtesy: Ghetufool

More bong for the buck

What do you call a mad Bengali?

In Sen.

A dark Bengali who lives in a cave?

Kalidas Guha.

A perfumed Bengali?

Chandan Dass

A Bengali goldsmith?

Shonar Bongla.

An angry Bengali letter?

Chitti-chitti Bong Bong.

A talkative Bengali?

Bulbul Chatterjee


Courtesy: Ace of Spades

A for?

Teacher: 'A' for?
Student: Apple !!!
Teacher: Jor se bolo
Student: JAI MATA DI

Courtesy: Rajkumar Shaw

Knock knock!

Knock knock
who's there?
amos
amos who?
a mosquito bit me.

Knock knock
who's there?
andy
andy who?
and he bit me again!

Courtesy: Scout

People of the world

There are 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary, and those who don't.


Two elephants fell off a cliff. Boom boom!


Doctor doctor, I can't feel my leg!

Yes, I'm afraid we had to amputate your arms.



Knock knock

Who's there?

Doctor.

Doctor who?

You just said it!

Courtesy: Blue-eyed boy

A couple of jokes, actually one

Name the Hindi film about a con couple, one of whom is a TOI reporter?

A: Bunty Aur Bobilli


Courtesy: Kunal Talgeri

Fish 'n microchips

In a pond there are 10 fish, one of them dies, and the water level increases. How?

A: The other 9 are crying.

A woman goes in an Auto (rickshaw) and gets bald??? How???

A: Automatically ( AutoMeinTakli).....

Once 5 CHIPKALIs (house lizards) : Phulwa, RaamPyaari, RaamDulari,RaamPuri and RaamChuri were crawling on the wall when all of a sudden, Phulwa started to sing a song. The moment Phulwa stopped singing the song, RaamPyaari, RaamDulari, RaamPuri and RaamChuri fell down from the wall. Why?

A: Coz, they all started clapping !!!!


What would you call a girl who never laughs....?

A: HASINA !

A railway station beggar meets another beggar. A software engineer meets another software engineer. Both of them ask the same question to each other. What?

A: "So, which platform are you working on?"


Two hairs on a bald man's head fall in love with each other and
want to get married, but cannot. Why?

A: Because under Indian laws "baal vivaah" is illegal.


Courtesy: Tuhin Subhra Kar

The name is Bond

What do you call a Bond with piercings?

Pierce Brosnan

What is the relation between the sea and Bond?

Bond Bond se Sagar banta hai

What will be the slogan if Bond endorses the Bombay transport line?

Bond with the BEST

Courtesy: Kenan Machado

This joke is relative!

Q: Who is Jackie Chan's mother-in-law?

A: D-Cold. Chan ki saas!

Q: What did the big tomato say to the small tomato behind him?

A: Try to ketchup!

Courtesy: Scout

Tring ring!

Q. What did love-struck Darmendra do when he missed Hema Malini after the shooting for Sholay ended?

A. Rang the Basanti

Courtesy: Tridib

All eyes

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea!

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

Still no idea!

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Fsh!

Courtesy: Blue-eyed boy

Banks and balance.

Which bank do you enter whistling?

A: Ceeti Bank (Citibank)


A man enters a bank and asks the cashier to check his balance. She pushes him.

King Kong - No one nose why

Why do gorillas have big noses?

A: Cause they have big fingers.

What's the Rear-admiral's vice?

A: The Vice-admiral's rear

Courtesy: Arpan Mukherjee

Spelling test

How do you spell "blind pig"?

Blnd pg (it has no eyes)

Let's not talk about age

Teacher : You failure! At your age Bill gates stood first in the class.
Student : Mind you, Sir, but at your age Hitler had commited suicide.


Courtesy: Phalguna Hari Jandhyala

Biriyani songs

What is the biriyani cook's favourite song?

A: Dum maro dum

What's the favourite song of an indian female boxer?

A: Brown girl in the ring.

What is Scott Adams' favourite song?

Dilber(t) Dilber Dilber


Courtesy: Fool on the Hill

More on conductors

A bus conductor kills someone. He is arrested and put on the electric chair. They pass high-voltage current through him. But he doesn't die. Why?

A: Because he is a "bad conductor"

The physics of semi-conductors

Q. What do you call a trainee bus conductor?

A. A semi-conductor.

Q. Why are semiconductor makers a disgruntled lot?

A. 'Cause they have a chip on their shoulders.


Courtesy: tridib

Freudian screw

How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: One to screw the lightbulb in, another to hold the penis, sorry i mean ladder.

What do you call a blonde who has dyed her hair brown?

A: Artificial Intelligence

What do you call a sheep with no legs or head?

A: A cloud


Courtesy: Pippa's Wrath

Opposites

What's the opposite of Adnan Samy?

A: Adnan didn't see me

What's the opposite of Pizza Hut?

A: Pizza hutna mat

Bong alphabet

How does the Bengali alphabet go?

A: It starts with A for Orange

Courtesy: Ace of Spades

For the Bangloreans

Which Bangalore locality is so named because of the high concentration of software pros/code writers staying there?

A: Kodihalli. (Code-e-halli, got it?!!!)

Contributed by Tridib

Zoo with one dog

What do you call a zoo that contains only one dog?

A: A shih tzu!

Why don't blind people sky dive?
A: It scares the shit out of the guide dog.

What's brown and sticky?

A stick!

Courtesy: Blue-eyed boy

Bad punjabis

What do u call a cruel punjabi?

A: A Surd-ist


Courtesy: Tresa Morera

Muslim barbers

What do you call an association of Muslim barbers?

A: Haircut-ul-Mujahideen

WANTED: REALLY BAD JOKES!!!

Come on! There's nothing to feel shy or bad about. Make this world unbearable. Send all your Pjs to on.high@gmail.com
The really bad ones will be published on this blog and you will also get credit for it. Don't let your conscience get the better of you - maardo saale ko

Fresh (copyrighted!) maal!

Q. What do you call a crappy Bong actor?
A. A-Shit Sen!
Contributed by Tridib.

Sillee

What would you call Jet Lee if he hikes up his rates?
Cost-Lee

What would you call Jet Lee if he swings the other way?
Gay Lee

What would you call Jet Lee if he were in love with his sister-in-law?
Sil Lee

Courtesy: Feroze Ahmed Jamal

Hump, my lovely lady hump!

Q: Why did the blonde undress on the highway?

A: She saw the sign "hump ahead"

Contributed by Fool on the hill

jet li's underwear

What will you call Jet Li's underwear?

A: Briefly

The place for the worst jokes

This blog I hope will have some of the worst jokes. You can comment on the jokes, but I would be happier if you post a really bad poor one.