Fat science

What do you call the science of studying fat bodies?
A: Motaphysics!

Courtesy: Scout

Tomato race

What did the Gujju say to the tomato running last in a race?
A: "Tomato Ket-chup!!" ("Catch Up")

Courtesy: Niveditha Ravi

Out of this world

What should you do if you see a spaceman?
A: Park in it man!

What happens to illegally parked amphibious vehicles?
A: They get toad away.

Courtesy: Blue-eyed boy

Please bear with this

Three animals were having a huge argument over who was the best: The first, a hawk, claimed that because of his ability to fly, he could attack anything repeatedly from above.
The second, a lion, based his claim on his strength---none in the forest dared to challenge him. The third, a skunk, insisted he needed neither flight nor strength to frighten off any creature. As the trio debated the issue, a grizzly bear came along and swallowed them all: hawk, lion and stinker!

Courtesy: T. Krishna

Double impact

Teacher to Sardar: Make a sentence in which one word is repeated twice.
Sardar : If Lara Dutta marries Brian Lara, she will become Lara Lara. Bolo Tararara!!

Courtesy: Aditya Phatak

Old man's tale

An old man walked barefoot everywhere, to the point
that his feet became quite thick and hard.
He also was quite a spiritual person. Even when he on a hunger
strike, he did not eat much and became quite thin and frail.
Furthermore, due to his diet of raw grains, he ended up with very
bad breath.
Therefore: he came to be known as a: "Super calloused fragile
mystic plagued with halitosis."

A tale of two prawns

Once there were two prawns named Johnny and Christian. Johnny isn't quite happy. So he goes to see Cod and says, "Please can you turn me into a great big shark!" Cod waves his magic fin, and Johnny becomes a great big shark. Johnny starts eating the other prawns one by one, until one day, only Christian is left.
Johnny suddenly realises he does not want to be a shark anymore. So he asks Cod to make him a prawn again.
"Hmm," replies Cod. "I guess you've seen the error of your ways. I'll turn you back." And he waves his magic fin, and Johnny the prawn replaces Johnny the shark. Off he goes to find Christian.
"Christian, Christian, come out and play with me!" he calls.
"No, no, no, no!" Christian squeaks. "You're a great big shark and you wanna eat me!"
"No, it's OK!" Johnny calls back. "I've spoken to Cod, I'm a prawn again, Christian!"

Courtesy: Stupid-boy

Brrr!!!!

First eskimo: Where's your mother from?
Second eskimo: Alaska
First eskimo: Don't bother I will ask her myself

Gujju abroad!

Why did the gujju go to London??
A: To see Big "Ben"

Courtesy: Niveditha Ravi

Save your soul

Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist?
A: He sold his soul to Santa

Q: Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
A: He's all right now.

Courtesy: Roshan .K

Humour in uniform

Q: What's a policeman's favourite stew?
Irish Stew in the name of the law. (I-arrest-you ).

Q: Did you hear what the 0 said to the 8?
A: Why do you have your belt so tight?

Courtesy: Blue-eyed boy

Egyptian psychology

Why do people not believe it when they fall in rivers in Egypt?
A: Because they are in denial!

What do you call a blind dinosaur?
A: Doyouthinkhesaurus.

Courtesy: Blue-eyed boy

Egyptian pschology

Why do people not believe it when they fall in rivers in Egypt?
A: Because they are in denial!

What do you call a blind dinosaur?
A: Doyouthinkhesaurus.

Courtesy: Blue-eyed boy