Hassle-free fun!

David Hasselhoff calls his agent and demands, "I want everyone to call me The Hoff from now on."
His agent replies "Sure! No hassle."

Calculus and alcohol don't mix. Don't drink and derive.

"Did you hear about that new movie, Constipated?"
"No..."
"Oh, it didn't come out yet."

What do you call a chicken in the North Pole?
Lost.

Courtesy: Stupid-boy